Fall Films

So, there’s some fun things happening in the world of film.  Here’s a list of what I’m excited about.

1. Where the Wild Things Are – the heart-stirring book from the 60’s has been adapted into a film.  I am partly nervous that the film will be too dark and not do the book justice.  But then- I am also thrilled to see it – Spike Jonze is the Director – which is such an interesting/weird choice.   Jonze is known for a lot of things – Being John Malcovich, Apaptation – both pretty dark.  But also, he did some of the Beastie Boys music videos!  Shout out!  But what’s really exciting about Where the Wild Things Are is that Dave Eggers did the screen play.  Eggers has been referenced before on this blog.  Love him.  

2.  Amelia – So, I’m not the hugest fan of Hilary Swank – but I really like Mira Nair, the director.  She made Salaam Bombay! which is one of the most brilliant, terrifying, painful films about poverty, specifically how poverty affects children.  So I’m interested in how she tells the story of Amelia Earhart.  From what I’ve read, Earhart was a fascinating figure – really modern for her times.  Nair has a great way of showcasing the strength of women – so I’m excited to see what she does with this.

3. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Oh My Goodness, Wes Anderson.  My favorite film is The Darjeeling Limited (by Anderson).  I can watch it over and over again.  Every grey thing he touches turns to color and explodes and those reoccurring themes of his – parental abandonment, sibling rivalries, forbidden love – don’t they just slay you?  What’s great about this feature – beside that it’s animated and Roald Dahl book-  is that it has Bill Murray and Owen Wilson and Meryl Streep and Jason Schwartzman.  Amazing.  Mostly because of Bill Murray.  Oh Bill Murray.

4. Bright Star:  A period piece about the poet John Keats.  Sound boring?  I think not!  It looks heartbreaking and what’s not to love about a poor poet and again, a forbidden love?  Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7IwhVQa8Uk 

Of coure there’s New Moon, cough, I can hardly wait .  Oh vampires.  And in the spring Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland with his boy, Johnny Depp.  So freaky and fun.  There’s more I should write of but I can’t find my list any longer – so we’ll keep it at that.  To movies!


The Other Pam

I don’t know if this will translate on paper.  But we’ll give it a go.

Pam and I went out tonight and had just about the greatest time possible.  Our funny friend David was with us.  He’s insulting and horrible and we love him.  Pam and I have a major communication barrier which is why I choose to write down most of our conversations.  Well, not most.  You really don’t want me to write down MOST because most of the things we talk about are completely boring and irrelevant.  Like today I spent a long time trying to convince Pam my real name wasn’t Hillary.  I even created a fake birth certificate (actually i had Julie make it).  At one point she believed me and then when I told her I was lying she said, “That wasn’t even that funny or exciting.  That’s like me spending all day trying to convince you that my favorite color is Red.”  But you see, the name I came up with rhymed with a dirty word so it was NOTHING like her trying to convince me that her favorite color was red.  A FAKE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!  A DIRTY WORD!  Anyways, here’s Pam and I driving in the car:

Me: (i point to pam and david) Remember when you, and you, and I went to that restaurant…

Pam (interrupts): The other me?

Me: What?  What other you? No YOU!  I’m talking about you and you (pointing to Pam and David).

Pam: The other David?

Me: Seriously?   What other David?  What other you?  I’m saying when the three of us went to dinner…

Pam:  I thought you meant the other David and the other Pam.

Me:  (long silence) But I didn’t say other.  I said YOU.   What other are you talking about?

Pam:  Like maybe you have another asian friend and hispanic friend that you call “Other David,” and “Other Pam.”  Like a doppelganger.

Me: Okay, great, but this is actually a story about YOU.  And I’ve never, ever mentioned any OTHER PAM!  So again, back to the beginning of this story, do you remember when YOU…

I wish I had an Other Pam!  One Pam is just not enough for anyone.  My other favorite moment of the night was when Pam tried to stuff a cocker spaniel puppy under her shirt so we could steal it.  And we went to a Korean BBQ place and they had bible verses in the stalls.  Like really strange ones IN the stalls, framed and mounted which I read while Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” was playing overhead.  And then to make things really awkward I leaned down and asked Pam if her stall had mounted scripture and she screamed because she didn’t like my face in her stall.

Puppy vs. Baby

Pam and I are at the Rose Bowl.  I see a baby in a stroller. 

Me:  I wonder what it’s like to be a baby in a stroller.  I wonder if that’s fun to watch the whole world fly by while you’re just sitting there, doing nothing.

Pam:  I wonder what it’s like to be a puppy a lot.  Everyone pets you and brings you food and thinks you’re cute.  And you don’t have to work. 

Me:  Seriously?

A few things I love about this.  One: Everyone pets Pam and thinks she’s cute anyways (so she and puppies don’t have much of a different existence).  Two: Pam thinks a perk to being is a puppy is unemployment!  Three:  Pam has had this existential puppy pondering MORE than once!

This started a long conversation about whether it’s better to be a puppy or a baby.  Pam advocated for puppies because babies, as she said, “are more complicated.”  As evidence of her argument she cited their propensity to poop, drool and cry  –  And I quote, “You’re just a mess if you’re a baby.”  (How great is that quote!?) I then told her that puppies do the same sorts of things.  She rebuttaled by suggesting that puppies are cleaner in their pooping and throwing up.  So really it became a debate about what we’d rather have around – a puppy or a baby.   We then concluded that Pam hates babies.  Kidding!  We actually finished the conversation when I told Pam, “You drool and puke everywhere and I still want to keep you!” which made her unreasonably defensive and caused her to burst out, “I do not!”   Shortly before or after this moment I concluded that we were both morons.


I’ve neglected you, sweet blog.

I have ideas forming in my head, but here’s just one.  Iron and Wine has some of the best lyrics.  And I’d like to make a list of the best lyrics of all time, but not at this moment.  Also, I don’t know if I could possibly ever succeed at such a task.  But here’s some best of Iron and Wine.

1.  Light strikes a deal with each coming night.  (think about this one- it’s so great).

2. They went on to say, that the pearly gates, have some elegant graffiti, like, ‘We’ll meet again” and “F the man” and “Tell my mother not to worry.”

3. Please remember me, finally, and all my uphill clawing, My dear, and if I make the pearly gates, I’ll do my best to make a drawing of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl, an angel kissin on a sinner, a monkey and a man, a marching band, All around the frightened trapeze swingers. 

4. There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon.

5. I cut my long baby hair, stole me a dog-eared map, called for you everywhere.

6.  Like stubborn boys with big green eyes- We’ll see everything.

7.   And she’s chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings. 

8.  Do his hands in your hair feel a lot ling a thing you believed in?

Top Ten

Most common questions/comments/or concerns directed towards me from others on a regular basis:

1.  You’re weird.

2.  Are those your real eyes?

3.  That’s inappropriate.

4.  Are you still eating? and/or Are you eating again?

5. What’s wrong with you?

6.  I love you, too.  No, I won’t say it again. 

7.  Put me down!  (said mostly by Pam)

8.  Seriously, that’s so weird. 

9.  Why don’t you have a boyfriend? 

10. Shut up.

Actually, the most common expression I hear is, “Wow, you’re like the funniest, wittiest gal I’ve ever met.  Oh My!”

Pam, the Abandoning Life Coach

Pam just hurt my feelings.

Me:  I’m going to make a ‘Pam Tab’ on my blog.

Pam: But what if we stop being friends?

Me:  Why would you say something like that?

Pam: Or what if I stop working here, move away and we never talk?

Me: Pam, Stop being a &%**@!

Pam:  Okay, I’ll never leave. 

Pam is behind me now doing something in my shelves and I just heard her yell, “This isn’t safe!”  I turned around and she’s holding a bag of scizzors that almost fell on her.  Safety’s for losers, Pam. 

Conversation continues:

Me: You’re fired.

Pam: You can’t fire me.  

Me: Yes I can.  You’re not the only one that abandons.

Pam:  What would you do without me?  Who’s gonna read the fine print.

Okay, so this one time, I may have bought some unnecessary things on the internet without reading the fine print.  I thought I was getting free samples, but I was actually purchasing large quantities of supplies.  Pam was reading over my shoulder and stopped me before I devestated my bank account.  She calls it her funniest day at work. 

Pam:  I’m your life coach.  (Picks up the turtle on my desk) This is ugly.