Puppy vs. Baby

Pam and I are at the Rose Bowl.  I see a baby in a stroller. 

Me:  I wonder what it’s like to be a baby in a stroller.  I wonder if that’s fun to watch the whole world fly by while you’re just sitting there, doing nothing.

Pam:  I wonder what it’s like to be a puppy a lot.  Everyone pets you and brings you food and thinks you’re cute.  And you don’t have to work. 

Me:  Seriously?

A few things I love about this.  One: Everyone pets Pam and thinks she’s cute anyways (so she and puppies don’t have much of a different existence).  Two: Pam thinks a perk to being is a puppy is unemployment!  Three:  Pam has had this existential puppy pondering MORE than once!

This started a long conversation about whether it’s better to be a puppy or a baby.  Pam advocated for puppies because babies, as she said, “are more complicated.”  As evidence of her argument she cited their propensity to poop, drool and cry  –  And I quote, “You’re just a mess if you’re a baby.”  (How great is that quote!?) I then told her that puppies do the same sorts of things.  She rebuttaled by suggesting that puppies are cleaner in their pooping and throwing up.  So really it became a debate about what we’d rather have around – a puppy or a baby.   We then concluded that Pam hates babies.  Kidding!  We actually finished the conversation when I told Pam, “You drool and puke everywhere and I still want to keep you!” which made her unreasonably defensive and caused her to burst out, “I do not!”   Shortly before or after this moment I concluded that we were both morons.


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