Friends don’t scare Friends.

I’d like to change this caption to, “Friends don’t hide around the corner from other friends because it’s totally scary and not cool.” 

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Being scared makes me say mean things like, “I don’t like you!”  I used to think it was funny to scare people – so I’d hide under blankets and in closets-  but then I realized it made me kind of a bad person, so I stopped.  This one time, my roommmates and I were hosting a birthday slumber party for some high school girls and a few of their boyfriends snuck over and turned our power off.  Mass hysteria ensued – screaming, running, falling.  When the lights came back on, there were girls standing on tables and couches and I was perched by the door, holding a baseball bat.  I didn’t even know we had a bat in the house.  Julie, my roommate, was pointing at me and crying from laughter, saying, “You have a bat!” and I’m yelling, “Why do we have a bat in the house?  Whose is this?” None of us played baseball or softball. 

This other time, Julie and Connie (same house), hid a doll in my room.  It was a talking elmo doll that had old batteries in it.  It was motion sensitive, but instead of having the high-pitched, harmless Elmo voice, it had this scary, slow, murderer voice.  And guess what it said?  Peek-a-boo.  I know, right?  So I come in from work, open my door, and am greeted, in the dark, by a deep male robotic voice saying, “Peek-a-boo!”  Scared me half to death.  They got such a kick out of my responses that it became their passion in life to freak me out.  Once they hooked up an old, salon heat lamp to my light switch(see photo).  PibbsTl931%203%20Headed%20Heat%20Lamp%20ChromeI came in from work, house pitch dark.  I walk in my room and flip the light switch, but instead of my overhead light, I am met by these three blaring red lights, omitting heat rays.  There was also this frightening noise they were making, like a deep man hum.  And I swear to you I immediatly thought I was being abducted by aliens.  I screamed so loud. 

So, friends don’t scare friends.  I am just as guilty.  I have hidden under beds, under stairwells, in closets, in the backseats of cars.  But then one day I woke up and thought, “I’m either gonna get murdered, or scare someone so bad they die.”  Neither of those options seem like a fun result.  So, friends don’t scare friends.

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4 responses

  1. But you get to re-tell the stories over and over, for a lifetime. Isn’t it worth the few seconds of gut-wrenching fear and panic!? You should be thanking me!

  2. I couldn’t DISagree more with your thesis. And reading your hilarious story is exactly why!! But to be fair, I love GETTING scared. It’s terrifying at first, but then hilarity ensues.

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