I have this friend who has a problem, let’s call her Franklin. So, Franklin has a newish house and lately she’s been finding an influx of lizards IN HER HOUSE!! Including last night – while I was on the phone with her – she found one on her bed and she screamed like someone was trying to murder her and also yelled, “Why do they hate me???” These are the facts: She has screens on all her windows and there’s no major or minor cracks in the walls. And sometimes the lizard is big and sometimes the lizard is small. So people, what do you think, where are these lizards coming from? Some theories:
1) Shower Drains
3) They use their little lizard hands to unlock doors and open them.
4) They’re representatives of Geico working to seduce Franklin into changing her car insurance and so they’re breaking into the house using lizard spy technology.