Hummingbirds

Pam (coworker) and I are walking back from lunch today and it’s beautiful out – Not to hot, light breeze, just perfect.  I notice these bright pink flowers and then, hovering above the flowers, I see a humming bird.  I excitedly point and say, “Pam, Hummingbird!”  She sees it too, with a “Oooo!”  And then I say, in a rather loud and frantic voice, while ducking, “Don’t let it hit you in the head!”  To which Pam replies, confused and ducking slightly, “Why would you say that?”   I stayed for a moment, holding my knees and laughing on the street. 

My mother loves hummingbirds.  She has little feeders on our back porch in the Bay Area and in the evening she pours a glass of wine and watches them hover and sip sugar.  They really are something to behold – how their wings move so fast you barely see them and the way the light refelcts off their irredescent feathers.  My mother has explained to me repeatedly that they are, in fact, vicous fighters, defensive of their turf.  She’s seen a few gruesome battles over her backyard.  She told me once that because of the hummingbirds immense speed, being hit in the head by one is like being hit with a speeding baseball with a nail sticking out of it.  Maybe she made up that analogy herself, but oh has it stuck with me. 

Whenever I see hummingbirds I have the same reaction.  1st Awe.  2nd Panic and the desire to duck. 

Other facts:

1. My mother takes amazing pictures of hummingbirds.

2. I have a stained-glass hummingbird in my room. 

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Funny Political Photos

Pam and I, during lunch, decided to look up photos of politicians when they were young.  We ended up having a good laugh at what we found.  Oh internet, we love you.  

barack-obama-is-superman

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Recognize this guy?

 

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We called these next few ones:  Get a room, Politicians! Gross. 

 

al-gore-tipper-smooch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 It almost looks like Condi is sitting on his lap. 

 

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And is Hillary Clinton biting Obama’s shoulder?

 

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Check out Hillary’s pants.

 

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And I tried to convince Pam that Reagan has on a monokini.  Remember, from the 80’s with the cut out sides?  Girl, you know you had one. 

 

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Love your Wrists

I sprained my wrist over the weekend.  It was very undramatic.  I couldn’t get a window open and all the pulling and tugging and straining ended badly for me.  So, without thinking too much about it I followed basic first aide training –  R.I.C.E. –  Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevate.  And today – it doesn’t really hurt anymore.  So, I now feel more confident in my First Aide certification and if any of you out there need me to come and administer first aide, I’m all over it.  Didyou know that a sprained wrist is one of the most common injuries?  I learned this fact the other day when I thought I had carpal tunnel – the nurse actually helped me figure out it was a sprained wrist –  so showy with that degree of hers.  All to say, be nice to your wrists.

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Transfer

I was sitting on hold today and it reminded me of an old job I had where I had to transfer calls.  Once the Dean of the School called and asked to be transfered to a Director in our department.  There was some tricky deal with transfering where you had to make sure a person wasn’t on hold before you sent it.  So I did the transfer and then a good twenty to twenty-five minutes later my phone rings again.  I pick it up and say the opening Hello and it’s the Dean and he tells me in a bothered tone that he has been sitting on hold for the whole time listening to classical music.  I apologized dramatically and transferred him successfully. 

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But here’s the thing – who waits on hold for thirty minutes – when your office is downstairs from the place you’re trying to reach?  It’s not like he had called the DMV or Social Security.  I blame him.  Laziness. 

While trying to find a good image for this post I came across this blog – Funny!  http://www.waitingonhold.blogspot.com/

Water, PAM!

Pam, my coworker, works upstairs in an office with a really good window that opens.  I work downstairs in a hot office that doesn’t have a window that opens.  Pam also has the water cooler up by her.  And the copy machine.  And the refrigerator.  And her air conditioning works.  And no one can knock on her window all day long. 

I recently decided that because life is THIS unfair, I’m not going to go upstairs to get water anymore.  So now I either stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell, WATER, PAM, NOW!  Or i just send emails with the same sentiment.  Sometimes the emails just say: WATER!  Sometimes they’re more specific: WATER IN THE PLASTIC CUP, PAM, NOW!  Sometimes she needs multiple emails, phone calls, shouts to get her to respond as needed.  If you feel bad about the way I’m treating Pam you need to read the first paragraph and remember that I’m the one that’s suffering. 

Mike, the security guard, once told me that there were little gnomes inside the water cooler that made the water come out of the spout.  He said this because I was standing with my head behind the water cooler saying, “Where the heck does this water come from????” 

Look at this guy!  And her hair!

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NO JOKE, Pam just showed up with water!!!!  BAH!  She’s mad now and she’s drinking it herself, saying, “What? Do you think I have nothing to do all day!”

Knives

Holding knives in my hands.

Me: (To coworker, Pam):  I really want to stab you with these.

Pam:  What’s wrong with you? 

Me: Let me stab you. (approaching Pam)  Just let me stab you in the neck. 

Pam:  Who says that?

Me:  Everyone.  Everyone says that.